YerBuddy
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 01:46:13
(permalink)
Just got scammed outta $25!
Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf. What a waste of money.
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Fugawii
New Member
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 02:30:19
(permalink)
After Monday and Tuesday, even the week says ****.
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 05:53:17
(permalink)
YerBuddy
Just got scammed outta $25!
Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf. What a waste of money.
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Afterburner
EVGA Forum Moderator
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 07:20:47
(permalink)
Every ship in the ocean can be a mine sweeper... At least once... 
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DMIINC
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 08:05:12
(permalink)
YerBuddy
Just got scammed outta $25!
Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf. What a waste of money.
Big/huge LOL 
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 08:16:37
(permalink)
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YerBuddy
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 08:25:13
(permalink)
seabigbear
LMAO. If only I would've thought of that with my ex...
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heymike_s
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/05 08:35:47
(permalink)
A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color." The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"
This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!"
Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?"
The contractor replied, "I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."
 
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dktechguy112
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/08 23:47:16
(permalink)
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh$# from anybody.
Intel Core 2 Duo e8400 Thermaltake A1 VX heatsink EVGA 750i FTW Cooler Master cosmos s 4 gb ocz reaper hpc ram 4-4-4-15 @800 MHZ EVGA GTX 280 Thermaltake TR2 RX 850w 300 GB Velociraptor 60 Corsair Force Series 3 SSD Sound Blaster X-fi Titanium Logitech z-5500 5.1 channel Monitor 1: ACER 24"(1920x1200) Monitor 2: LG 19"(1440 x 900)
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RiChess
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/09 00:01:49
(permalink)
What dweeb gave my OP a 1 star rating.  
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sinsear
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Darron
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/09 02:17:15
(permalink)
A strange man turned up to farmer Bobs little farm he said he be from the DEA de dwug efornceement agency Pa said Bobs son Billy I see said Bob so what brings you to these here parts? Sir we have word that you may have some illegal substances on this farm and this badge gives me the right to search your property so get out of my way or there will be trouble... hmmm Ok said the farmer but you carn't look in that padock over there yonda near that tree....  Sir by the power invested in me by the state I have the right of this badge to search where ever I choose !!! and with that he stormed off in the direction of the padock in question. A few minutes latter that DEA agent sprints past farmer Bob with a 2 tonne angry bull close behind as he screams help me Bob help me!!! Bob then screams back show him your badge show him the badge !!!!...
In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti  
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Drerex
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/09 04:50:02
(permalink)
LMAO!! Nice!
A blonde gets on the plane with a ticket for coach seating. She decides to sit in first class because she is blonde and beautiful and going to New York. So the flight attendent goes up to the blonde and says you need to move to coach because you are sitting in someone elses seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde and beautiful and going to New York". As the flight attendent gets more inpatient, she again asked the blonde to move back to coach because she is sitting in someone elses seat and if she doesn't move, then she would have to get the captain involved. The blonde again replies, "I'm blonde and beautiful and going to New York". The flight attendent out of anger goes to the cockpit to explain to the captain about the blonde. The captain said, "I know how to handle this, let me take care of it". The captain gets up and walks over to the Blonde in first class and whispers something into her ear. Right after that, the blonde quickly gets out of her seat and walks back to coach and sits down. The flight attendent amused by what she saw, asked the captain, "What did you say to make her move?". The captain replied, "I told her that first class is not flying to New York but coach is".
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/09 05:33:03
(permalink)
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nateman_doo
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/10 07:31:44
(permalink)
Two Marines were walking through the woods when they came across some tracks
One of the marines said to the other, those are deer tracks. The other said no, they are bear tracks.
They were still arguing over it when the train hit them.
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zoltanthegypsy
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/10 08:24:46
(permalink)
nateman_doo
Two Marines were walking through the woods when they came across some tracks
One of the marines said to the other, those are deer tracks. The other said no, they are bear tracks.
They were still arguing over it when the train hit them.
A different version from the Vietnam era IIRC: Guy in a field hospital bed was asked how he got injured. He said sarge told him the best way to smoke out a VC sniper was to yell "to hell with Ho Hi Minh!" and see who popped up. He tried that at the edge of a clearing and a voice yelled back "to hell with LBJ!". They were standing there in the middle of the clearing shaking hands when a tank ran over them.
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Delirious
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/10 08:33:44
(permalink)
RiChess
What dweeb gave my OP a 1 star rating.
You members cannot see who gave what rating? Click on the stars. Curious to know.
"Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger" Affiliate Code XZUMV9TJW5 Associate Code: 7PM43CU71IB2IAP education may be expensive but wait until you get the bill for ignorance A wise man once said that we can't make anyone feel or do anything. We can throw things into the wind, but it's up to each person to decide how they want to react, where they want to stand when things fall.
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/10 08:33:49
(permalink)
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mdedrick
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 02:00:09
(permalink)
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!!! Than you take the chick home. 60% of the time, it works everytime!
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[WildDog]
Have you seen this dog?
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 06:53:45
(permalink)
seabigbear
ROFL
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 06:59:18
(permalink)
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mdedrick
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 15:46:08
(permalink)
What does a redneck say before he gets inured? Watch This!
~ Some intel lga775 board ~ ~ E2140 Dual Core 1.6ghz @ 1.8ghz ~ ~ 9800 gtx+ Core : 775mhz ~ ~ 40gb ide ~ ~ 1.5gb 533mhz DDR2 ram ~ ~ 300w Dell Psu ~ ~ Intel Stock heatsink ~ ~ DELL 15" LCD 1024x768 ~ ~ XP 32-bit ~ 3dMark06 - 7,100
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RiChess
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 17:25:33
(permalink)
Delirious.
RiChess
What dweeb gave my OP a 1 star rating.
You members cannot see who gave what rating? Click on the stars. Curious to know.
The non mods can't click the star ratings. Wish we could though.
Heatware Profile Asus TUF Gaming x570 Plus Mobo - AMD 5900x CPU - Dark Rock 4 Pro Cooler - EVGA GTX 2080 XC - G.Skill V 3600mhz 32GB - EVGA 850w - GS SAMSUNG 1TB SSD - Phanteks Enthoo Pro Case
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 17:40:19
(permalink)
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Darron
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/11 19:32:04
(permalink)
Two adventures are in the Jungles of indonesia they come to a clearing and discover an angry man eating tiger tearing at a recently killed prey carcus as they turn to walk away slowly as not to disturb the angry tiger one of the adventures steps on a twig and lets out a loud "cracking" noise. The tiger runs through the jungle roaring blood streaming from its razor sharp teeth looking for the 2 adventures. One of the men frantically rummages through his ruck sack the other man waiting impatiently pleading with the man to hurry "I found them he yells" brandishing a pair of nike sneakers "Sneakers!!! yells back the man you carn't our run a tiger you fool" I don't need to out run the tiger said the man!!, I just need to out run you  ....
In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/12 18:30:12
(permalink)
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GhostImage
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/19 10:34:21
(permalink)
Nice felas. :) Some really good ones.
An older man walking up the street. All of a sudden he stops, bewildered by a scene. A Little boy Gorging himself on a chocolate candy. Just stuffing his face with it. The man comes up to him and remarks.
-: "You know young man its not that good for you to eat so much chocolate. It can cause a lot of problems letter with you health."
-: "My Grand Dad lived to a 120 years old!" the boy replies.
The older man looks at him with a surprise.
-:" And did he eat a lot of chocolate?"
-:"No!"- comes the boys answer, -: But he minded His own F%#ing business!"
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deicida
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/19 11:27:20
(permalink)
HAF 932 EVGA X58 E760 i7 920 D0 @ 4GHz Swiftech Apogee GTz G.Skill Trident 6GB @ 1900MHz PoV GTX 480 2x640GB WD Caviar Black(raid-0) Corsair HX850 
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someguy1135
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/19 13:38:52
(permalink)
One Atom says to another:
"I think I'm missing an electron."
"You positive?"
"Yep"
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cyberT00th
New Member
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Re:Post a joke (clean please)!
2010/03/19 17:05:48
(permalink)
Here's an example of one of the kinds of opportunities that used to be hard to come by, before laptops and affordable home computers: The Affair A sociologist, a psychologist, and a computer programmer were discussing the consequences and implications of a married man having a mistress. The sociologist's opinion was that it is absolutely and categorically unforgivable for a married man to forfeit the bond of matrimony, and engage in such lowly and lustful pursuits. The psychologist's opinion was that although morally reprehensible, if a man MUST have a mistress to achieve his full potential as a human being, then -- well -- he may go ahead and choose to have a mistress, as long as he is considerate enough to keep this secret from his wife. The programmer then interjected: "I also believe that, if necessary, a married man is entitled to a mistress. However, I do not see why the affair should be concealed from the wife. On the contrary, if the affair is out in the open, then on Friday evenings he may tell his wife that he is going to see his mistress, tell his mistress that he is going to be with his wife, then go to his office and get some work done!" --------
Core2 Q9400 2.66GHz @2.8GHz
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bit contraction of "but I thought..." noun: the smallest unit of misconception.
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