miss my dogs

A Magic Trick
 
An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery. 

The Englishman steals 3 buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He 
says to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. 
The owner didn't even see me." 

The Irishman replied, "That's just simple thievery, I'll show you how to do 
it the honest way and get the same results." 

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says, 
"Sir, I want to show you a magic trick." The owner was intrigued so he came 
over to see the magic trick. 

The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked 2 
more times and after eating them again the owner says, "Okay my friend, 
where's the magic trick?". 

The Irishman then said, "Look in the Englishman's pocket”.

Chocolate Chip Cookies
An old man is upstairs, on his deathbed when he begins to smell chocolate chip cookies. He has always Loved chocolate chip cookies. He slowly crawls out of bed and very carefully crawls down the stairs, crawls across the floor. As he reaches the kitchen door, he pushes the door open. There on the kitchen table are hundreds of piping hot chocolate chip cookies. He crawls over to the table and with every ounce of strength he can muster up, he reaches up and with mouth watering picks one up. His wife slaps him on the back of the hand with a spatula and says, leave those alone, those are for the funeral.

Grim Reaper
 
Two musicians are driving down a road. All of a sudden they notice the Grim Reaper in the back seat. Death informs them that they had an accident and they both died. But, before he must take them off into eternity, he grants each musician one last request to remind them of their past life on earth. 

The first musician says he was a guitarist in a Contemporary Country band and would like to hear eight choruses of Achy-Breaky Heart as a last hoorah! 

The second guy says "I was a jazz musician...kill me now!"

High School Reunion
 
Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion, After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and is obviously bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance. 
There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works. Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down. 

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"