tshingy
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Re: OMG, I just laughed so hard 2 (Why so serious?)
2018/02/03 18:04:17
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Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?
She heard you could get thinner there.
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tshingy
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/03 18:15:23
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please
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Eyeshibby
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/03 19:39:09
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Eyeshibby
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/03 20:35:55
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jvjong
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 00:17:21
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XrayMan
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 00:53:15
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My Affiliate Code: 8WEQVXMCJL Associate Code: VHKH33QN4W77V6A   
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 11:08:10
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Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation.
His opponent comments: "That must be the most touching thing I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling man."
The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:08:10
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My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:09:30
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I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:14:08
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Q: Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:24:51
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“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
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“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
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“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:27:19
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I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss.
I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:29:39
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Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:31:47
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Doctor: “Do you do sports?”
Patient: “Does sex count?”
Doctor: “Yes.”
Patient: “Then no.”
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:35:10
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In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
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One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
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The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:40:10
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In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:42:57
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Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
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Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:44:47
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Men in 1845: I just killed a buffalo.
Men in 1952: I just fixed the roof.
Men in 2017: I just shaved my legs.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:46:07
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I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:47:44
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A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:51:15
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A police officer stops a car.
Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”
Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”
Officer: “At home?”
Driver: “No, to do it.”
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:54:34
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Why is women’s soccer so rare?
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It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 15:58:41
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I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:02:19
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Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager! “
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:04:00
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I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:05:22
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So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:06:25
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“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.”
“Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed.”
“And smart, too!”
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:08:01
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Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?
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A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:09:19
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What goes up and down but never moves?
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The stairs!
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eddymonti
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Re:OMG, I just laughed soo hard 2 (norris, failures, cats and other sanity saving humor)
2018/02/04 16:10:55
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A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
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