These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood
Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course.



Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

> A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so

hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)



Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump,

at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.



Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going

to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.



Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.
Rose Marie: No wait until morning.



Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.



Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.



Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.



Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while
talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more

growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.



Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.



Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any
during the first year?

A... Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.



Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.



Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss

>two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.



Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A.. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.



Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.



Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A.. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?



Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

>

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected..



Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what
was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.



Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?



Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him



Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

>

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Zuhl3156

 

kram36

Zuhl3156

 

So stupid they didn't even bother to blur out her name lol.

Maybe that's a spin on "Betty Crocker".    ;)
 

 

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

 
Someone is bound to confuse that with soda.
 
 

I'm going to guess it's rasberry flavored?
 

 

Randolla

XrayMan
 
Someone is bound to confuse that with soda.
 
 

That's a lawsuit waiting to happen

 
I used to work at a mirror and glass shop. One day all of my co workers were gathered for a safety meeting in the mirror dept. Everyone has these personal spray cleaner bottles with window cleaner in them. The topic for the safety meeting was staying hydrated in the heat. I spoke up real loud and said "All this talk about the heat and drinking! I can't take it!!!" and I took my glass cleaner bottle, opened it and chugged the whole bottle. What they didn't know is that I switched the cleaner with blue Gatorade. It was epic.