I've got experience building PCs, probably built close to 30 or 40 of them (showing my age, I just realized I joined these forums 15 years ago!). I am confident I've got the CPU mounted properly, and know what to look for wrt bent pins and such etc. Plus, I've had no issues in the 2 years I've been using this system with RAM or BSODs randomly or anything like that. Bent CPU pins I know can manifest themselves in mysterious and unexpected ways, but as mentioned, I'm as certain as I can be that I didn't screw anything up installing it, and that the pins weren't bent before I mounted the CPU and waterblock. I had some trouble when I built it the first time with RAM, and wound up having to swap kits out. This was one of the earlier DDR5 boards at the time, and getting the RAM and timings and such was a little tricky at first. So, I'll just chalk it up as some kind of compatibility issue and move on (next reboot after I'm done working I'll double check the BIOS is up to date though).
I may continue tinkering with it and doing the usual stuff you mention. tbh, I don't have as much free time for tinkering as I once did, and may just shelve this project until it's time to upgrade when Z890 comes along. For now, I can live with the onboard 2.5Gb NIC, especially since I don't really NEED 10Gb yet as my file server is still spinning rust - plans for the future to upgrade that to SSDs. What prompted all this is that I've been slowly upgrading my home network infra to get to 10Gb, and my main workstation/desktop PC is pretty much the last remaining item that can't do 10Gb.
I very much appreciate your help with the troubleshooting! I will update this thread if I fix it, just in case it helps someone else.