knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Wife just choose her BFF over me.... Guess I need to learn how to make local friends, now, lol....
|
kram36
The Destroyer
- Total Posts : 21477
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2009/10/27 19:00:58
- Location: United States
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 72
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/18 20:54:34
(permalink)
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/18 21:04:02
(permalink)
Pretty sure im still in shock, her BFF just bashed the crap out of me on her FB. Was hard enough the wife rather spend time with said BFF. and wife took my dog too...
|
JGLuxe
CLASSIFIED ULTRA Member
- Total Posts : 7192
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2010/10/26 03:19:09
- Location: Cloud 9
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 17
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/18 21:24:20
(permalink)
Sucks, But it's always nice to see peoples true colors... going through something similar right now as well... sorry to hear that.
i9-12900ks @ | 128GB DDR4 | RTX 3090 FTW3 ULTRA
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/18 21:59:40
(permalink)
Wife has spent 12 weekends away from me with her BFF, i was not invited, then when we fin get a weekend off together she takes off again, and im the jerk.
|
rjohnson11
EVGA Forum Moderator
- Total Posts : 102038
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2004/10/05 12:44:35
- Location: Netherlands
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 84
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/18 22:23:28
(permalink)
Sorry to hear about this.
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 03:15:02
(permalink)
Guessing Ill be in shock for a few days.
|
MSim
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 14685
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2005/05/22 23:13:30
- Location: Earth
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 38
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 04:12:33
(permalink)
Sorry to hear this. Things could get ugly. I hope you contacted your bank/credit card company to remove her or to create your own account. If the property is in both of your names, i would move belongings you really cherish to a remote site, like a family member home or a self storage place. That way she can't come back when your not at home to take them. If you change the locks, don't forget about reprogramming the garage door (if you have a garage) to only work with your remote.
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 09:08:25
(permalink)
I didnt sleep hardly at all last night. My late wife, now this, Im just going to have to learn to be single and learn how to make local friends. Ive had so much pain over the past few years. I miss my BFF "my late wife". she was my wife and BFF, its just sad that some cant understand your spouse and BFF is one and the same.
|
transdogmifier
CLASSIFIED ULTRA Member
- Total Posts : 6114
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2003/09/05 14:26:21
- Location: Orlando, Fl
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 17
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 09:09:51
(permalink)
I'm sorry, Man....Hoping and praying you find a new path, a new woman who does understand... We're around if you need to vent/talk
AMD Ryzen 7900x3d Deepcool LT720 Gigabyte Aorus Elite AX X670 (Might change..don't like this board) eVGA GeForce RTX 3090 FTW3 Ultra Gaming (Hybrid kit on it) Asus ROG Swift PG43UQ 4k Monitor eVGA 1600W Supernova T2 PSU 32GB Kingston 6000 DDR5 (2x16GB) Fury Corsair MP600 Pro 2TB (Boot) Corsair MP600 2TB (Games/Data) Phanteks P500A Case
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 09:27:05
(permalink)
At least i have a job that i love and good pay, not great pay, but it beats minwage. Right now thats only reason Im staying put here and the outdoors here is amazing....
|
Cool GTX
EVGA Forum Moderator
- Total Posts : 30908
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2010/12/12 14:22:25
- Location: Folding for the Greater Good
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 122
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 09:37:11
(permalink)
Sorry your life has turned upside down Take steps to protect yourself from "future Martial debt" & "talk to an attorney" to better understand what your home state laws are & how filing may or may not help protect you Some states your married until the divorce is final ... so debt damage control is very important Document your assets & liabilities As mentioned: Update Bank, CC information ---> Especially if you use automatic deposits of any sortClose Joint accounts or remove her from them, Sometimes it easier to open new accounts at bank / CC and transfer your assets & line of credit If you cant change an existing account --- Try having the limit lowered to like $500 & get new cards issued in your name only at the same time ... explain your will no longer be responsible for her charges ... Breakups are never easy ..... especially if its not by your choice Get outside, exercise ..... Having someone you can trust not to gossip to "vent" to is very helpful Edits: Don't Forget to check how your car or other property is titled there is a reason the saying is: "possession is nine-tenths of the law"
|
rjohnson11
EVGA Forum Moderator
- Total Posts : 102038
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2004/10/05 12:44:35
- Location: Netherlands
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 84
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 09:52:56
(permalink)
Lots of great advice here. Always protect yourself physically and mentally.
|
notfordman
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 10333
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2007/08/09 23:52:23
- Location: In a van, down by the
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 28
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 10:30:47
(permalink)
WOW Knight, I'm really sorry to hear that. I know you have been through A LOT the last couple of years. The good part is, you are where you wanted to be. At least reading your postings here, that's what I thought. Women are a mysterious species..... She took the dog, because she knows you love him. There's a name for that.... Lot's of great advice, do it as soon as possible.
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 10:40:38
(permalink)
Thanks guys, just got done at the gym, going see my chiropractor now. Edit: Cops were just here, wife grab some stuff, took her name off the lease, said she was sorry it ended this way. Two days before we were fine, found out shes been talking to said BFF, its hard that her moods flipped "she bipolar and thyroid problems" , I always knew her BFF would cause our divorce.
post edited by knightsilver - 2018/10/19 13:11:09
|
HaywireHaywood
SSC Member
- Total Posts : 860
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2018/05/13 10:32:58
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 2
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 15:48:30
(permalink)
My ex left me for a long time friend about 5 years ago. Wasn't a surprise, we had been on the down slope for a few years, but it still sucked mightily. I don't like change. One thing it drove home is that the old saying "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is a steaming pile of... garbage. Ultimately the only person you can count on is yourself. Hang in there. It will suck right up to the point that it doesn't, then it won't. You'll find the freedom of doing what you want when you want is a nice change.
|
atfrico
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 12753
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/05/20 16:16:06
- Location: <--Dip, Dip, Potato Chip!-->
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 25
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 15:59:31
(permalink)
Its better to be the victim than the accuser....if you dont get what i mean, you need a whole deal of growing up.
T hose who abuse power, are nothing but scumbags! The challenge of power is how to use it and not abuse it. The abuse of power that seems to create the most unhappiness is when a person uses personal power to get ahead without regards to the welfare of others, people are obsessed with it. You can take a nice person and turn them into a slob, into an insane being, craving power, destroying anything that stands in their way. Affiliate Code: 3T15O1S07G
|
Hoggle
EVGA Forum Moderator
- Total Posts : 10086
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2003/10/13 22:10:45
- Location: Eugene, OR
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 4
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 18:35:09
(permalink)
Sorry to hear this but with time you will probably realize it’s for the best. If she wasn’t focused on the relationship then it would have eventually ended badly.
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 19:00:41
(permalink)
I know ill be happier after the divorce in over, Im fin starting to calm down some, planning a short day hike for tomorrow, just being in the apartment is hard ATM. Planning on church on Sunday, havent been since the late wife passed. The Xwife hated church....
|
kaninja
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 8755
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/10/10 23:51:13
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 25
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 19:42:42
(permalink)
Sorry to hear this. Protect yourself and don't give a second thought to her feelings. It sucks right now for sure. Her BFF is a dude?
post edited by kaninja - 2018/10/19 19:44:49
Corsair 650D - i5 3570K @ 4.6GHz - Corsair H80i - MSI Z77 M-Power - 16GB DDR3 Corsair Dominator Platinum WD 1TB Caviar Black x2 - OCZ 120GB Vertex2 SSD - Corsair HX620 - GTX285 SSC - Samsung T240 - DIR-655
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/19 23:06:54
(permalink)
|
Nereus
Captain Goodvibes
- Total Posts : 18882
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2009/04/09 20:05:53
- Location: Brooklyn, NYC.
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 58
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/20 08:40:43
(permalink)
Just don't rebound onto some other woman - that would be the worst mistake you could possibly make. Enjoy your freedom, sounds like you already have some hobbies so continue to pursue them, start putting yourself first. Don't start drinking excessively - that's a depressant and will not help anything (don't know if you even drink alcohol, but it's an easy trap to fall into if you do). I'm not going to say I'm sorry this happened, because it's not something to be sorry about - be relieved that you no longer have to live through the torture of pretending there was still a salvageable relationship there. You are back at the wheel and control where you go from here.
post edited by Nereus - 2018/10/20 08:43:08
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/20 09:36:52
(permalink)
I need to get outside the apartment but not really thinking of anything besides hiking/trails is ok for a few and the gym. but being alone scares me, im needing adult interaction, the xwife was just as happy sitting in front on the TV/Phone, thats all she did when i was home. So i really needing the love conversion right now. Ive never cared for the bar scene.
post edited by knightsilver - 2018/10/20 09:40:54
|
Cool GTX
EVGA Forum Moderator
- Total Posts : 30908
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2010/12/12 14:22:25
- Location: Folding for the Greater Good
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 122
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/20 10:09:28
(permalink)
I'd look for social activities at you Gym & any local hiking clubs -- check at sporting goods store, not sure about online sites. Make sure you prioritize circling the Wagons first - Attorney Now * Removing her from All documents & financial papers* (life insurance, car title, bank accounts, CC, Medical power of attorney*, limited power of attorney*, pension*, retirement accounts* may have to wait till divorce is Final ....) You need to learn that your good company for yourself & enjoy the next year learning to live solo.
Yes, social interactions now & dating after said divorce is filed.
Just do not get too serious with anyone aka the rebound relationship -- they never last ... It is easier to make a plan, now the she has chosen to end it with zero attempt to fix it.
One day at a time, do what you enjoy doing ..... enjoy your time away from work - no demands on your time
|
kaninja
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 8755
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/10/10 23:51:13
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 25
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/20 15:07:43
(permalink)
Love yourself. Learn to be happy with yourself alone.
Corsair 650D - i5 3570K @ 4.6GHz - Corsair H80i - MSI Z77 M-Power - 16GB DDR3 Corsair Dominator Platinum WD 1TB Caviar Black x2 - OCZ 120GB Vertex2 SSD - Corsair HX620 - GTX285 SSC - Samsung T240 - DIR-655
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/20 17:12:56
(permalink)
Yep, learning how to live alone will be hard. But worth it, if I find that right woman down the road, she needs to love me for me and be my BFF not just my woman...
|
HaywireHaywood
SSC Member
- Total Posts : 860
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2018/05/13 10:32:58
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 2
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/20 18:45:12
(permalink)
Or just stop looking like I did. Friends ask me from time to time if I'm dating yet. My answer is always no. Call me jaded, but the blah in the middle and the pain at the end (which always arrives, one way or the other) is not worth any joy I find at the beginning.
|
Vlada011
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 10257
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2012/03/25 00:14:05
- Location: Belgrade-Serbia
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 11
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/21 03:18:34
(permalink)
knightsilver Wife has spent 12 weekends away from me with her BFF, i was not invited, then when we fin get a weekend off together she takes off again, and im the jerk.
That was possible with me only if I party 3 days with friends and have open relationship with girl. Than other girls are with me and I don't care. With own wife? I would not allow single weekend to spent with "friends" without me.
|
knightsilver
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 9430
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2008/11/21 13:42:06
- Location: Nebraska
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 14
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/21 05:36:57
(permalink)
Yep, this last time she went I got upset, then she turned around and left with parents for the weekend. She comes back , walks out, says her parents are paying for the divorce. I was bad enough her thyroid and bipolar meds got screwed up by a new med doctor. So I'm not fighting the divorce, I inlaws are paying for it. Would be nice if someone acknowledg'd shes super manic past week, and her BFF and parents are fueling it.
But I was shocked, but less shocked now, now I'm just ready be done with her.
|
notfordman
Omnipotent Enthusiast
- Total Posts : 10333
- Reward points : 0
- Joined: 2007/08/09 23:52:23
- Location: In a van, down by the
- Status: offline
- Ribbons : 28
Re: Wife just walked....
2018/10/22 09:23:51
(permalink)
Can we please return to the original OP please?
|