A fifteen year old  Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by  almost everything they saw, but especially by two  shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide  back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is  this Father?'
The father (never  having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen  anything like this in my life, I don't know what it  is.'
While the boy and his  father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a  wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed  a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between  them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and  his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up  sequentially.
They continued to watch  until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began  to light in the reverse order.  Finally the walls opened  up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped  out.
The father, not taking  his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his  son.....

Go get your  Mother'

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. 
 A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited, 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.  I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife; taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.   I was appalled.  But, as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'
 Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.  He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk, 'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

 
                  

It’s One Way To Keep Green

 
                

 
                   

XrayMan

 
                 

i dont get this one the picture is doing nothing...

Nex_Lupus

XrayMan


                

i dont get this one the picture is doing nothing...

It's a moving gif. Whats wrong with your internet?