THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. 
 
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE 
BEEP STOPPED. 

THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. 
 
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. 
 
WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.' 
 
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. 

SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. 
 
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. 
 
THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID ..... WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT ..... I'M GETTING A 
FAX!!

 
           

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.  The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.

He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves." 
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this **** but me."

  
                                                                  ROFL!       

  
             

XrayMan

  
                                                                 ROFL!       

 
            

 
Holy Wow...Is there even a worse way of breaking up with someone than that?