A woman brought a very limp duck into a
veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the
table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I
mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left
the room. He returned a few minutes later with
a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked
on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put
his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it
out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as
I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. $150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."