Before my "Why I Fold" I'd like to state that I was truly touched by Madrias' post, it was worded magnificently. I don't think I could put this into any better words than what Madrias already has but I will say that I feel the same way as he described about folding & cancer. It's terrible to experience if you know someone who has it. It's something that nobody should have to experience if they're a victim of it or related in some way to the person. Folding points is nice in the way that it grows competition since as a race we're very competitive. So I hope nothing more than friendly competition grows up as a result of this. No one Man or Woman in my eyes can be said to be more a hero than the next. We're all doing what we can. We pitch in with what we can for the better good of all.
This is me, urdeath/urdeath007/bloodlust. I fold for many reasons of which I can truly state is my family. I strive to help those around me in my environment to what extents I can. I'm a kind & friendly person I've been told even been told I go to further lengths for them than they'd expect from a friend. I simply want to help those who I have the power to.So here I am nonetheless trying to help everyone who I can possibly help without knowing or caring their story for I have experienced what I dearly wish others won't have to... Or so I hope so at some point in my life or a future generation. I find I'm slipping so I'll move on to my "Why I fold" and hope that my message gets across to those of you reading it.
I was born in the year 1990, which was a good year for many reasons most of which I was too young to know or understand. At a later age I would understand my family & their actions a bit more. Before I was born my grandfather on my Father's side had passed leaving a mess behind for everyone to deal with. It was not his choice that it happen but it did. I have been told by my relatives as well as strangers that worked for him/wtih him or a neighbor during a point in life he was a honorable and hard working man. He lived by principles and morals. He may have died before my time but I know the effects it has had on my close family. Those that have only put on suits for special occasions to see them all adorned in theirs is a vivid picture in my mind of all he touched, all that dearly cared and respected him. It will forever remind me throughout life that we should act the same way we'd like to be treated. We should honor & respect those we deal with. It's about how we act that we'll be remembered by forever.
Later on in life at the age of 7 I had a world shattering experience to my little world as I knew it at the time. It was a harsh wakeup call to reality to cherish every moment with those I care about because life is not a garaunteed thing which can be taken in a breath at any time. I awoke one evening to find a scene that was my father sitting in a chair in the living room in a stance that requires no words to tell was utter devastation. The day before my father had asked if I wanted to go up to visit my great-grandparents (on my father's side) for a day or two. I had at the time turned down the opportunity. The following day I felt devastated when I learned that my same dear grandparents had passed away. I felt that it was my fault for quite some time because it might have been different if we had been there. At the time I didn't know much better or to stop blaming myself. Later I learned that it was a heart attack that got my great-grandmother whom had awoken to find my great grandfather dead from cancer. I got over it though it's something that at such a young age I truly feel that nobody should ever have to experience.
Years later in '06 I found out on an otherwise normal day that my uncle had pancreatic cancer. Just years before he had been diagnosed and gone to what lengths he could to fight it off. Now my uncle was like a second father in the sense that if I've looked up to anyone as a "role model" for lack of a better word or taken morals after another it's him. I'm not saying I don't take after my father but I like to think I'm taking after the better attributes of them both. He never put me down to a mental state that would have me negatively thinking. Always encouraged me to learn as much as I could so that one day I would enjoy where I go in life. So that I don't end up in some unfortunate situation in life that he said I didn't deserve to be in. Ironically whenever he visited and I was playing a game he'd jokingly give me a hard time that I was playing around with a "time waster". I forever hear the echo of those conversations when I quit playing after a session. So I usually find myself playing games that involve friends or some level of multiplayer vs. singleplayer games. I find more and more that I play only these due to the appeal of playing with friends, with the fun times & memories they bring in those sessions. I recall how he always pushed me on to do my homework before doing anything with him as he always insisted schooling was important. He was a kind person who would help if he could as long as he was not taken advantage of otherwise he'd settle things in a manner he viewed fair. He mostly wore a smile whenever our family was together until later years when chemo & his cancer treatments started taking tolls on him. He held fast to morals from his experiences that caught on to me through his actions while I was around. I find it hard to put to words most of them. Though overall he simply wanted to enjoy life to it's fullest in a way he chose while abiding to the laws of the government so as to live on his land being a kind hard working man under the wide blue sky.
So when I found out he had cancer again but that it was highly unlikely he'd survive I don't have to explain how the thought was to me. So on the last trip to the Oregon Sand Dunes after exhausting all treatment options he could, as he went fighting it best he could, I cherished it. To this day I keep in mind the image of him standing triupmhant on a cement modeled whale outside a campground on our way back from the dunes. In pain or not, being able to keep what food he could in him and having what was to be a time of his life with us he was happy. It showed. Throughout the years of pain he fought as it's our family's nature to do so, it's human nature. Nonetheless for all his fighting in '007 he passed so I keep the mental image of him standing in a triumphant pose upon a modeled whale outside a campsite on our way home from his last enjoyable trip in life. So I keep it in my mind that it matters not what you're going through, because if you're going to live you're life you damn well better not waste it as it's precious down to the last second. It's necessary to go out and enjoy yourself with those you hold most dear to you while you have the time or even ability to do so.
So I "fold" for my family alive as well as lost along with the friends I've made but have lost because it's what I can do to help. Regardless that cancer is like a plague in my on both sides but there is hope. I may be one in some thousands out of the planet's population who can help partake in this so I hope it helps. I can only hope that someday my efforts as well as those of every wonderful unselfish soul who partakes in this finds a cure to some cancer or any one of the diseasesthat this project from stanford is researching. So if anything comes of the folding as a whole, we've all won. We're all heroes for doing this. We get these units done so that sometime the one(s) that solve such as cancer get completed resulting in what I hope is to be a cure. I hope that someday the devastation that is everything that comes with cancer nobody has to experience. EVER. My friends lets fight these diseases. We may not have any one of these horrible diseases but we can fight just the same as anyone who has ever had it or has it currently that are fighting it. It's time to fold.