FattysGoneWild
It will never be the same again. She will carry that in the back of her head 24/7 only to throw it in your face every so often. If she ever felt in secure. Its more then ever now. She just wont tell you. You will be treading on thin ice the rest of the marriage. I sincerely wish you the best. Being married. Its a damn if you don't and damned if you do ALWAYS. Case in point.  

THAT is from a married man right there.  If only you came here sooner and asked us first, ALL of us husbands would have told you this exact same thing.  Your best option at this point is to move away to the mountains, where its just the 2 of you.  Build a log cabin and live off the land.  This way no other women will be in your life and she will not feel worried about it.
 
But yea... do we get to see what the best friend looks like or what?!  ;)

Discussion or mentioning of religion is not allowed on the forums everyone. Posts which contain religion or allude to religion will be deleted.
 
If there is a repeat incident we'll have to lock down this thread.

VegetaCreeper

GODKILLER

VegetaCreeper
I truly live my life as a Christian to the best of my abilities.

 
Not really, you don't. Your thread essentially shows me that not only do you not respect the sanctity of your marriage, that you don't even respect your wife and to be as weak to blame your so called honesty do to being drunk is just pure cowardice. To go on about how you needed to let her know your attracted to other "hot women" because your a man and that's what we do is pure nonsense. You really sound pathetic for a so called Christian husband.
 
I have only been married for ten years, but there is no other women that I find attractive other than her. Sure there are women that may catch my eye, but that's all it is, just eye candy because my wife fulfills all those needs I could never get from any other women. I am going to grow old with the women I desired the first time I ever saw her and it doesn't matter to me what she will look like years from now because all I will ever see is the women I decided to spend the rest of my life with.
 
My advice to you is to grow up or get out of your marriage. I would say good luck on your marriage but this post just makes you look stupid, weak, and just plain ignorant of what your marriage vows should mean to you.
 

You are a real piece of work.  I will be the first to admit that I'm not perfect.  But I cherish my wife and love her very much.  We are working through this situation just fine.  She was very thankful that I was honest with her about the situation, and we are limiting how often her friend comes over and are establishing proper boundaries

Vegeta, you should try and understand that bout 95% of American are very judgemental, and they're first reaction is to judge others when someone makes a mistake, or the other people are not doing the things they normally do. It's typical behavior. I personally hate those who judge, they have no right, but it's not about me. You're doing good, and by you apologizing and owning up to your problems does take balls and a real man, and being truthful is the real bonus. Keep it up. A lot of us hope for the best. Take her out or go on a 2-3 day get away. I bet she will like that.

Where the heart ponders surely your feet will follow, for the treasures of the heart are finer than any diamonds or gold.
Move on man love your wife and kids she should just go.

A hot thread without pictures to compare?
 
Should be an automatic forum ban offense.

fearpoint
A hot thread without pictures to compare?
 
Should be an automatic forum ban offense.

I know right?!?  Glad I am not the only one here.
 
 
Now godkiller on the other hand... your entitled to your opinion, but don't disrespect anyone here.  It isn't right.  Thats some mean sheit to say to someone who is out here airing his laundry for whatever reason.

so this single event has almost completely ruined my marriage.  If I could go back in time I wouldn't have said jack....
 
Now, I can't talk to her friend, even though I work with her.  I am basically forbidden to even speak about her.  My life is basically a living He double hockeysticks... 
 
And the biggest issue is that I'm in love with her...  In love with a married woman... unbelievable - I'm going to try counseling and see if our marriage can be repaired

VegetaCreeper
so this single event has almost completely ruined my marriage.  If I could go back in time I wouldn't have said jack....
 
Now, I can't talk to her friend, even though I work with her.  I am basically forbidden to even speak about her.  My life is basically a living He double hockeysticks... 
 
And the biggest issue is that I'm in love with her...  In love with a married woman... unbelievable - I'm going to try counseling and see if our marriage can be repaired

Wake up and smell the coffee:
 
Attracted definitely, Lust probably, infatuated possibly ---> but Love, really ?
 
Counseling sound like a good start

VegetaCreeper
so this single event has almost completely ruined my marriage.  If I could go back in time I wouldn't have said jack....
 
Now, I can't talk to her friend, even though I work with her.  I am basically forbidden to even speak about her.  My life is basically a living He double hockeysticks... 
 
And the biggest issue is that I'm in love with her...  In love with a married woman... unbelievable - I'm going to try counseling and see if our marriage can be repaired

I had a whole post written out last time I saw this thread, then decided to poke fun instead... I know how things like this go, i've seen it happen more than a few times.
 
Counseling isn't some fix for your problems. They may help with your perspective, but it's not going to be some fix all.
 
Here is the thing... You all ready know what you have to do. Ignore her friend, possibly look for a new job if working close with this girl is becoming a major issue, which is seems you're all ready there. Look into getting relocated at work or get different hours immediately. The faster you get your self away from the situation, the better. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be in great shape if this was flipped around and she was the one infatuated with a close buddy, worked with him and she told you she wanted a piece of that. Don't be a home wrecker. Not only will you lose your wife if you take action on your feelings now, you will have made an enemy that can literally destroy your finances till your children are 18-21 years old depending on what state you are in. Don't think for a second that won't happen to you either, cause there is a damn good chance it will... and that's just the beginning.
 
Unless there is something I'm missing of course... If your in a toxic marriage, that's a whole different scenario. Otherwise, if you are just being selfish, you need to apologize to your wife and let her know you appreciate her man. Show her you've learned from this instead of acting like your single talking to your wife like a bro.

VegetaCreeper
Let me say to everyone ripping on me that I love my wife with all my heart.

Part of the reason im having these issues is because I have autism. I have a hard time understanding social cues, and reading peoples enotions and responses to situations.

This leads me to often put "my foot in my mouth," and say something that I shouldnt. I always felt that my wife would prefer open honesty about everything, but ive discovered that I need to keep some thoughts to myself.

I love my wife and tell her shes the best wiman in the world. And I mean it whole-hartedly. Is it so hard to believe that a man could be in love with 2 women? Its that simple...

No it's not that simple, and saying so just makes it appear you are trying to make excuses for yourself and avoid taking responsibility as if you have no control over the situation. YOU are responsible for this, nobody else. Have some respect for your wife - you can say you love her till the cows come home, but actions speak much louder than words my friend. Yes I (and others) have been ripping on you for it, but (a) what did you expect after posting something like this on an open forum, and (b) you freaking deserve to be ripped upon! What you have for this other woman appears to pretty clearly be an infatuation, not love (can't help laughing at that - how old are you - 12?). I assume you're not a Mormon who believes in polygamy (and clearly your wife doesn't), and you apparently aren't in a mutually agreed open relationship, so again, GROW UP, and change your job if that's what it takes, but if you have any respect at all for your wife and have any desire to 'save your marriage' as you claim, then you would already have left that job and be doing everything you can to make things right, which clearly you are not - posting on this forum and then ignoring the advice given is not exactly being proactive. Not much else to say. I doubt anyone feels sorry for you, so if you're looking for sympathy and to be told that it's ok, this ain't the place and it ain't going to happen, at least not from me.
 

Swingers maybe? Lol... j/k. WHat I would really do is take her on a 2-4 day get away somewhere nice. It wouldn't hurt, and right now desperate measures are needed here.

bill1024

stalinx20
Swingers maybe? Lol... j/k. WHat I would really do is take her on a 2-4 day get away somewhere nice. It wouldn't hurt, and right now desperate measures are needed here.

Yeah but if he does that and his wife finds out he will be in a lot of trouble.

LOL
 

Brad_Hawthorne
Well, I look at it this way. You coveted another woman and told your wife about it. Then further came online and told random strangers about it. Not sure where to begin other than to say that you seem pretty emotionally tone deaf to your own faults.

This.

She should eject.

I wasnt the perfect spouse before my late wife passed, but I and we still tried. But seriously, "Dont be stupid, Dont waste ur time fighting, when you should be loving eachother!"  Dont freak out over the small stuff, and just dont be that stupid male.... Takes two to argue...
 
 

stalinx20
Vegeta,
 
you need to ignore these people, and do what I suggested, take your wife on a nice vacation, it wouldn't hurt.

He's right